My Mind speaks...

Hi, I'm Pollie and I'm 9 yrs old. I leave in the forest, here in Alto,Michigan. Well as a pet Dog life is good for me for the first 4 yrs. They feed me constantly, they play with me, they never neglected me. They taught me tricks like, fetch, catch, sit roll over. But what I didn't get is play dead. That trick was hard. But as time had its way on me and made me old and a little frizzy. My whole life of pethood suddenly changed. They don't give me food anymore. I have to hunt wild animals in order to eat. I have to moan and beg for attention because no one plays with me anymore. I mean life in the forest is freakin boring and all fucked up but if there's someone there to take care of me, feed me, love me and pay attention to me, It woudn't be that hard. Well thank God there are some filipinos who lived here for the week. They took care of me, they made me feel special, "minahal nila ako na parang kanila." "Pinakain nila ako ng masasarap na pagkain." Salamat at may mga tao paring umaakto na tao sa mundong ito. Well I don't know how much  more I will leave my life but who's counting but I will never forget the time I had with the pinoys. Aztig sila! Sana kung pwede bisita naman ako dyan sa Pilipinas para maranasan ko naman ang buhay aso dyan.

I'm here and they are over there. I miss them so much. I want to party with them, get wasted and pass out with them. I want to cry with them, get sick with them, get down with them. I want to get angry with them,  pick up fights with them and beat up people with them. I want to comfort them when there sad and listen to there problems. But...I can't! I'm here and they are over there. I know they feel the same way even though I'm here and they are over there. Yes life is unfair but it has its way of turning out just how it should turn out. WE are living...a pilgrim. Some finish early, some finish late. Others are persistent. While some tend to go off track. Some go straight ahead. Others do the curves. There are some who go straight ahead without resting, likewise there are some who take stops. Some quit, some stop and doesn't push through. Some get out with out a scratch while others have scars and broken limbs. Go, go and enjoy your trip. Just remember whatever you choose and don't choose there is a consequence. You have to face it. There is only one certainty...that is change. You can't stop it. You can't delay it. You can't predict it. Only God could, but he wouldn't. His better than that...Is He here to save us or is He here to punish us? Is HE here to help us through our pain or is HE here to prolong our agony as we live each day. Pain is the only reality. It is inevitable. Its there when we love or hate. Save or kill. Care or not. Love is an illusion. Our way of escaping the fact that the world is all fucked up. ITs not real, it comes and goes with no explanation or definition. Its not true or is it just a mystery. Yes I leave you with this. My crazy mind is about to explode...BOOM!!! Bye bye...

Its so hot here. What makes it worse is its humid.So its like breathing inside an oven. Waaaaaaaah! I'm for a swim today. Then after I might have a massage. Its just total relaxation for me right know. Just enjoying the summer here in michigan. Well I'm off!

I have a question? Do you dream? Coz I don't. I haven't dreamnt for a while now. Let's say 2 years... Its weird. Is it because I'm freakin tired all the time that my brain just shuts down everytime I sleep. No energy to ponder on the things that happened or may have happened. Its kinda disturbing. I mean if theres like a dreaming pill that I could take just before I sleep...I'll take it. Just to have a peace of mind. I just feel that dreaming is part of a normal human beings life and I want to experience it often. SWEET DREAMS!!!

O my God! I just want to say that Dave Chappelle is a genius. I just watched his 1 hour stand-up comedy that was held in Washington DC. How cool is that? You just stand up above a huge crowd of people and start making jokes and picking on people and you get paid for it for a high price. He is truly living his life according to how he wants it. He rocks B*TCH! Hahahaha...!

          Today is not my day. When I woke up I had a fight with my dad because of a stupid reason(you wouldn't want to know about it). I'm bored as freak...in my Aunt's house. I f*ckin spent my whole morning in the basement just watching shows that only retarded people watch because there's nothing good in TV. Plus there are two bitches making noise down here(This is how they talk, "I was like and she was like...O my God. B*tch right!". I wish my ears would explode so that I don't need to hear their lame ass "music."  Here I am just writing on my journal...hope God has something special instored for me today. Life has been boring ever since I freakin moved from the Philippines. I miss all my friends, all the bitches and all the assholes I know. I'm about to die of boredom here. I just hope that something good would come out of this day. Ayt!!! 

             So the question is why complicate things. Isn't it more easy if she was just your friend or a partner. But noooo...you have to make it more meaningful. You have to be tied with her. And of course that's where the problem starts. Jealousy, cheating, lying and misunderstanding. Maybe I'm really not ready yet to commit. Cause I might end up breaking her heart or vice versa. I'm scared...

           I think it's time to write something about myself. Yeah I have my profile but that is not enough to explain a whole person's being. So where do we start.

          Well I'm born and raised as a Pilipino. Pinoy ako! May agimat ang dugo ko. I have to migrate to the US because of problems financially...Sino bang walang problma sa pera sa pinas! My last school in the Philippines is Ateneo de Manila. I did'nt finish high school cause I moved when I finished my 3rd yr. I'm out going. I hang  mostly in eastwood.  I love to swear because it's my way of expressing myself. My dream girl would be Pamela Anderson. She has a nice rack, firm ass and a bad attitude. In short she's a bitch. Rock is my music. I'm the best friend you could ever meet or I could be your worst enemy. Most important totoo ako (I'm real)

Yup thaaaat's me!

           So we have to stay on our Aunt's place we're sooo bored.  We think it's fun to take naps!  Thats wat we do for FUN here.  Then we have to hang with a 3 year old.  He screams louder than most heavy metal bands I know.  Then theres a 9 yr old b*tch here that thinks sacktaps are funny.  Hilarious right?  How fun is it to have someone run up to u and dropkick u in your balls?  She comes out of F*ckin nowhere and BAM!  Ur on the ground screaming.

          I also have to take "good" care of things and not touch anything cause my retarded uncle would freak out like a whore and say, "Hey don't touch that, it came from Rome, the Pope gave it 2 me right before he died so just buzz of and quit touching stuffs!" What a b*tch right? He's just jealous, 'cause i've got a penis! 

          Jesus Christ! The place, it's in the forest! God help me! I feel like I'm ripped out of civilization. The nearest house is like a thousand miles away from us. No one to talk to. I'm freakin out here dammit!!!

          Yup my life is hell. But even if I'm deprived by this things that a normal teenager should have, there is no comparison on cutting out a human beings necessity such as water. Yes, I havn't drank water for 2 weeks now. Why? Well mainly because the water here is gross!

        So I'm in the middle of nowhere, with 2 a**holes and a b*tch, no people to talk to, and I'm practically dehidrating right now. Well I don't really know how long I could last but all I could say is this,"Good luck to me."